


Di Ex Viri

by Marijke



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon-typical language, Humanstuck, Multi, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2796449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marijke/pseuds/Marijke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the players win the game, the world is reset. On this new Earth, they are all reborn, the only remnants of the game being their lingering powers. It takes them all awhile to remember everything, but most of them find each other nonetheless. </p>
<p>Some weren't quite as lucky. </p>
<p>John gets a call from Jade for the first time on this Earth, and she's panicking about fake police officers and inhumane medical procedures.</p>
<p>Or: The one where everyone must work together to save their own asses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John: Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! As a preface, I am eventually going to try to include all of the characters. In Di Ex Viri I'm only going to give John's life up until he remembers, but if requested I can make another fic about the other character's pasts.

John remembered for the first time as he was blowing out the candles on his 13th birthday cake. Jane was on his left, clapping madly as John managed to douse every candle with his breath, assuring him a birthday wish. Dad was sliding the cake towards himself so he could cut it. John had been thanking them for all the hard work they'd put into backing it (even if Dad spent most of his time baking regardless) when his first vision flashed before his eyes.

It was some blonde kid in sunglasses. He had a smirk on his face, and his casual posture was oddly friendly. This image passed quickly as images of letters flashed in John's head, all reading "Happy Birthday!" in some colorful lettering.

Jane's "Earth to John!" And slight tap in the head brought him back to present day. It was April 13th, his birthday, and he had some cake to eat.

\-----

Lying in bed, John couldn't sleep. He was stuffed with cake and content with presence, but something seemed off. He was too disturbed to go to bed, though he couldn't place the cause of his disruption. The sheets were cozy, and he wasn't cold despite the usual chilling weather in Washington. He didn't feel sick.

As he lay restless three names occurred to him, and he felt content. He didn't know anyone named Jade or Dave, but a girl had moved in next door named Rose. John decided to talk to her.

\-----

"Out of the way, John!" shouted Jane as she launched herself up the stairs, nearly colliding with John as she stuck the landing. She had a fake mustache on, along with one of Dad's hats, and John couldn't help but giggle.

He asked, "What's with the get up? Did you get grounded again?"

"Nope! I'm going on an adventure, and Dad can't know I'm gone alright?"

John furrowed his eyebrows and bit his lip. "Are you going to be grounded if I tell on you?" he asked.

"Aww, are you worried about me, little brother?" she said as she ruffled John's hair out if place.

"If you're doing drugs I'm telling Dad," he replied, messing his hair up to its usual and proper position.

"Ha! I won't be gone long," she said, climbing out the window and onto the tree abutting the house. "I'll be back before you even notice I'm gone."

John gave a slight wave, and began to turn away when heard Jane cry out. Turning back to face her, he saw that a strong wind had knocked her from her perch, and she was dangling from an adjacent branch she'd grabbed in her fall.

"I'm okay!" she shouted to John, though her widening eyes revealed to him that something was very wrong.

Jane returned from her excursion four hours later with two pumpkins. It was the middle of April, but she'd decided to go pumpkin carving. John couldn't even fathom how's she'd obtained pumpkins, considering how they were a fall plant.

He chose not to question his sister's methods, however, as the attempts often lead to headaches and face palms. Instead he enjoyed himself as he gutted his pumpkin.

He and Jane spent a good twenty minutes comparing designs. Jane decided on a house cut into different sections. She kept looking over at John to see what he though about it, but his answer was the same every time: "It's not as cool as my ghost!"

Jane just messed up his hair, accompanied with groans of, "Come on! Your hands are covered in pumpkin guts!"

"What's it matter? You're going to have to take a shower after this anyway. Unless you've got someone special coming over…"

"Gross!"

"Oh right! Rose is out of town."

"Jaaaaaaaane," John whined as he threw a pumpkin seed at her. It stuck in her hair, and as she floundered to get it out John couldn't help but laugh.

"That's it, mister!" Jane squealed as she threw some seeds at John, most of them landing in his hair or bouncing off his face. They launched into a pumpkin seed fight, and the half carved pictures were forgotten for a little while.

\-----

There was a knock at the door, and John flew down the stairs to let the visitor in. He threw the door open to find Rose waiting on the welcome mat with a purple present.

"I was told that someone was turning fourteen," she said playfully. After she set down the present on the small coffee table in the living room, John gave Rose big hug. They remained in the embrace for a good long time before John pulled back.

"I need to show you this cool biology kit I got!" he shouted, pulling her by the arm after him as he raced up the stairs. After running down the hallways he cast open the door to his room and ushered her inside.

Gratuitously Rose calmly stepped inside the room and glanced around as she usually did. There was a microscope on John's desk, its light on. John smiled widely as she noticed this.

He began, "I've just been taking cells from the apples that Dad keeps bringing home. One of the slides turned out really cool though; you should check it out!"

Rose smiled and walked over to the desk. Peering into the microscope, she saw instead of an apple cell tiny writing reading "made you look :B"

Pulling away she rolled her eyes, "Very funny, John. How's Jane, by the way?"

"Hasn't been at your house every waking hour for the past few months?" he asked back.

"That would be a bit of an exaggeration," answered Rose, though she internally admitted that Roxy and Jane spent copious amounts of time together. She made a mental note to look further into their relationship to one another.

"I'm glad that you got adopted by Mr. Fedora," John said offhandedly, flouncing down into his bed.

"My father's name isn't Mr. Fedora, John. You've known him for longer than I have you should know this."

"Sure thing, Ms. Lalonde-Brinner."

"John-"

"I'm getting those visions again, Rose."

They'd spent a long time talking to each other about the outlandish dreams that they seemed to share. There were too many similar elements for them to ignore, but John still felt very strange about the entire situation.

"Have you ever met Jade or Dave?" John asked quietly.

"I've had a few conversations with Dave, but I am under the impression that he does not have much computer access in this reality," she responded.

John looked up at her quizzically before giggling.

"What is it, John?" she asked slightly impatiently. He just pointed towards a mirror on his table. Picking it up, Rose saw that she had black rings around her eyes where she'd pressed them against the microscope.

"That's really mature John."

\-----

John remembered everything at 16. He was hanging with Rose, complaining about how lonely he was now that Jane was in college, when it seemed to him as though another life played itself for him. In a moment, John saw all of his session: the trolls, Jade, Rose, and Dave. He remembered flying about using his "windy thing." He remembered Jack Noir an the golden boat. He remembered the tumor and Lord English.

And then he remembered that he was sitting on his front porch with Rose, rocking back and forth in ridiculously large rocking chairs.

"Rose," he began, "do you remember Sburb?"

She inhaled calmly and exhaled forcefully before saying, "How much?"

"All of it."

"Even the part were you proposed to Dave?"

"What? I did that!?"

"You know, for a prankster your pretty bad at detecting jokes."

"Roooooooose!"

\-----

In the following two years, they never find Jade or Dave, though they both try several times to contact him through pesterchum. They find Karkat in the 11th grade, but he never spends much time talking to them.

On October 15 of their freshman year in college, they are studying together wen John gets a call from an unknown number. The area code shows it not to be a telemarketer, so John is confused as he picks up the phone.

"Hello? Who is this?"

The response was near hysterical, "John, this is Jade. They sewed wings onto Tavros, John. They sewed wings onto him."


	2. Jade: Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Di Ex Viri is Latin for Gods from Men, not that anyone cared.

Jade was cautiously glancing about, trying to remain as small as possible. She couldn’t let them find her. If she did, all of her efforts toward escaping would’ve been for naught. She just had to stay hidden in the port-a-potty at the gas station and pray that the sirens would fade away, content with their empty findings. 

She’d left Jake behind. They’d been planning it together for months, ever since they’d been moved off that island and to the facility in Montana. If only Jake had been just a little bit faster, or they hadn’t decided to turn back to steal their guard’s wallet, he’d be with her now.

She needed to call someone. She needed to get help. She needed to get some rest. She needed to quiet down, or the men outside would hear her hyperventilating. 

The air was dripping with frost, and her flimsy attire hardly helped the cold. She almost laughed at the similarities to the Land of Frost and Frogs, but then she remembered she was practically standing on a toilet in the middle of Nowhere, Montana, and there were people outside who were looking for her that had sewed wings onto Tavros. Because that worked so well with Rufioh.

The sirens faded. Jade allowed herself to calm down for a moment before she fiddled with the door, unlocking it with her numb hands. She stepped out into the cold before glancing around to find a pay phone. She’d crashed the car she’d stolen into a nearby barn before wildly looking about for a gas station. Gas stations were one of the few places where pay phones were plausible to find. 

Locating a heavily graffitied and possibly functioning phone, she pulled a quarter from the guards leather wallet as she tried to remember John’s number. She inserted the coin and began forcefully jamming John’s number into the phone.

It rang twice before she heard his dorky voice, “Hello? Who is this?”

She was so overjoyed at having reached him and so worried about the events that had just passed, she started sobbing into the phone, “John, this is Jade. They sewed wings onto Tavros, John. They sewed wings onto him."

“Jade?” he said, startled. “Where are you? Are you okay? Where have you been? What is this about Tavros?” 

“I,” Jane stuttered, “I’m at a gas station. I’m somewhere in Montana. Tavros is-” she stopped. “Where are you? Could you come get me?”

“Jade, I go to school in Boston. That’s five hours away! By plane! Is there a hotel you can stay at until I get there? Are you staying somewhere? Do you have money for a cab or something?”

Jade was tempted to cuss him out from the other side of the phone, but the cold made her rethink it, “I can’t John. There are people looking for me, and I don’t know how long I can hide. I stole some guys wallet. How much money does a hotel cost in Montana?”

“I have no clue. Wait a moment, where in Montana are you? Just as a question.”

“Uh,” she glanced at the gas station, seeing one of the postcards in the window. “I’m in Jordan.”

“You might be the luckiest unlucky person I know. Go inside.”

“But John, how will that help me?” And then she heard sirens again. She hung up the phone and scuttled inside the convenience store, shivering and clutching herself.

Inside she saw a mildly familiar, if slightly unexpected and possibly unfriendly, face. It took her a moment to correlate what she saw to the person she’d barely known. He still had black hair, loose and to his shoulders. He still was unbelievably muscled and had a judgmental look on his face. His glasses weren’t broken however.

Jade blinked twice before walking over to the counter and asking, “Equius?”

He looked down at his name tag, shrugged to himself and said, “Yes? Do you have a question on our highly limited selection?”

“I, uh, do you recognize me?” she asked doubtfully.

“I do not believe so. No.”

“I’m Jade.”

“Ah, the green human. Might I inquire how you came across this gas station? It is in the middle of nowhere, and I thought you lived on an island,” he asked, taking off his glasses and cleaning them. 

The sirens were getting louder. 

“Equius, I’m actually in a lot of shit right now. Could I stay with you?” Jade hurried.

Equius startled, “That was, well, unexpectedly. You wouldn’t happen to be the reason those policemen scoured the shop earlier, would you?”

“I would happen to be. Will you help me or not?” she asked, wary of the approaching sirens.

“How could I help you?” 

“Well, you could drive me to your house to aid in my escape from the fake policemen.”

“If I leave in the middle of my shift, I’ll be fired.”

“Equius, please,” she grew desperate.

He looked around at the various broken items behind the counter before saying, “Excuse my lewd language as I say, ‘Fuck it, I’m going to be fired anyway.’” 

\-----

Jake coughed violently as he woke up. He was in his room, with it’s stark white walls and furniture. He rolled out of the bed and directly onto the floor, not bothering to stand. Yawning widely, he slid himself on along the floor with as little effort as possible before reaching the door.

Forcing himself to stand, he knocked twice against the door. 

“Jade? Jade, are you awake?” he practically shouted. Jake glanced out of the small window embedded in the door. He couldn’t see Jane through her window, so he assumed she didn’t hear him. He was about to call again when he remembered. 

He and Jade had plotted their escape for such a long time. At 7:12 when the guards changed there would only be one guard on duty. Every three months the guard on duty would Mr. Thire, a snide little man who was horribly weak. Jake had practiced “hoping” a keycard into existence, and they’d bided their time until October 15, when Mr. Thire was the only one on duty. 

They made it out of their asylum-esque cells, stopping to take Mr. Thire’s wallet and car keys in case they needed them in the future. They’d run towards all of the exit signs, using their keycards as they went. 

They’d almost made it, but of course Jake had to trip. He’d told Jade to keep going.

Jake really hoped that she kept going.


	3. John: Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are these chapters long enough?

“John, are you sure this is a wise course of action?” Rose said frustratedly as John ran around his dorm room, throwing various articles of clothing into a black suitcase.

He threw on his glasses and mustache, and pulled a hat out of his dresser, “Yes. Jade’s in trouble, Rose! We have to go help her!”

“John, I know we have to help her, but-”

“Who knows if Equius will even bother? They’d never talked much or been the greatest of friends. What if she’s just sitting outside a gas station in Montana?” John interrupted flagrantly.

Rolling her eyes, Rose supplied, “John, I’m just as worried as you. But how will you be able to help her by flying out to Montana?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” John asked.

“We could get her a plane ticket instead of having you fly out to nowhere with no plan and no place to stay.”

“Oh.”

“Oh, indeed,” Rose smirked.

Then John recommenced his panic, “But Rose, won’t she need some kind of ID? Or some way to get the tickets?”

Rose groaned, “John, it’s an airport, and she’s flying within the country. As long as she doesn’t have a bomb, she’ll be fine. We’ll get the plane ticket for Equius, and even if he refused to help Jade, he seems to respect me enough to give it to her.”

“Didn’t he think you had purple blood, or something?”

“Perhaps. Anyway, I believe it is in our best interest to bring Jade to us instead of going to her.”

“How do we get tickets for Equius?”

“Have you never bought plane tickets online before?”

“Dad always did it!”

“John Egbert, we need to have a talk when this is over.”  
The lights flickered off. They heard mad cursing from the room over.

“SHIT EATING NOOK-SNIFFERS, HOW DID THIS MORONIC MACHINE BLOW THE POWER? IT WAS COMPUTER PROGRAM! A GODDAMN COMPUTER PROGRAM, NOT SOME FUCKING TIME-BOMB SENT BY SOME HOSTILE FRENEMY WHO CAN’T DEAL WITH THE FACT YOU BEAT HER AT GODDAMN FARMVILLE. HOW DO YOU EVEN BEAT SOMEONE AT FARMVILLE, AND UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD THAT WARRANT A FUCKING DEATH TRAP!?”

Rose sighed, “Well, John, it appears that Karkat managed to blow the power again. I believe that we will have to head over to my dorm to purchase the tickets.”

“Yeah, let’s get out before he figures out I asked Sollux to hack him.”

“JOHN FUCKING EGBERT.”

\-----

“Woah,” Jade said, looking around at the extravagant home she’d just been guided into. “You have a nice house.” It was ornately decorated with rich wood, and paintings had been hung across the halls. The soaring ceilings reminded her of a museum, but the soft lighting made it feel slightly more welcoming.

“Ah, yes. I suppose our social standing in Alternia carried over to this universe, at least to some extent. I live here with my father Arthur,” Equius narrated as he motioned for Jade to take off her shoes.

Jade quirked an eyebrow, “Just you two?”

“Yes. Ever since Horuss left for college I’ve been quite alone.” He lead her to the living room, and motioned for her to have a seat.

“How old are you?” she asked as she sat, confused.

“I am eighteen, as I assume you are. Before you ask, I am taking a gap year before going into art history, so no, I am not in college yet.”

“I see.” Jade shifted awkwardly in her seat. She did not know what she should do next. She had reached relative safety, and she was warm for once. She still had no means to help any of the others still trapped at the base. She did not know whether the police force was safe to turn to. She did not know how many of her friends were still trapped in locations around the country, or around the world.

She didn’t feel like fighting anymore either.

Equius cleared his throat, “Would you like to use a computer? To contact you friends, I mean.”

She looked over at him wearily, and realized his earnest intent. “Yes, please,” she replied.

Equius nodded and hurried away, returning with a laptop with a bright blue cover. He opened it and unlocked it before handing it to Jade. She pointedly ignored the large folder in the corner simply labelled “Hoofbeasts”, and instead went to the internet, intent on emailing John and Rose. She had no email or pesterchum in this world because she had had no internet access for any of her life, but it would be faster to create an email account than it would a chumhandle.

As she opened the internet application, Nix, she saw many open browser. At first she was worried that it would be more horses, but she was pleasantly surprised to remember Equius’ other hobbies of robotics and archery. She saw multiple sites open on circuitry and and programming, and numerous demos on how to properly draw bows without snapping them.

She smiled and went to google, quickly creating an email address. She typed in John and Rose’s emails before drafting her message:

_hi guys! this is jade. equius is letting me borrow his computer._

_things are bad :(. to summarize, i escaped from some horrible medical testing place. have you guys noticed any little abilities yet? apparently some people found out :/ i dont know how many of us they have, and i dont know who we can trust. who is with you?_

She proofread it a few times before deciding to send it. Sighing, she gave the computer back to Equius and thanked him. “Oh, and Equius?” she asked. “Can I just sleep here? On the couch.”

“Uh, you may, if you would like to. There is a spare bedroom, and I can retrieve sheets if you so desire-” Jade was asleep, so he stopped himself.

Biting his lip, he haphazardly threw a blanket around her, unsure of what the protocol was for when someone falls asleep on your couch.


	4. Rose: Read Jade's Email

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys make me so happy! I realize this is sort of a slow build, but thank you so much for reading it thus far!

Rose and John arrived at Rose’s dorm room, panting madly. It was easy to outrun Karkat, who was notorious for being incredibly slow, but they’d sprinted nearly all of the way to Rose’s dorm. They’d barged in on Terezi decorating her and Rose’s Kitchen with Barbie dolls hung from various ribbons decorated with various Halloween patterns.

Rose held her finger up in a stopping motion, and she entered the bedroom. John fiddled with his shirt for a moment before Rose returned with her laptop. She pulled it out of its knit sleeve and plopped it down on the table.

She opened up the laptop to find that she’d received an email.

“John, it appears that Equius did in fact help Jade. She sent an email to us a few minutes ago.”

“Oh? What’s it say?” he asked excitedly.

“She’s safe, from what I can tell. She’s with Equius.”

John was about to ask another question when Terezi barged in, saying, “You wouldn’t happen to be the reason that Karkat us at my door shouting his brains out about cramming John’s severed head into a microwave, would you?” She popped her head out for a moment before returning, “Nope, now he’s feeding your writhing body to an army of feral chipmunks.”

“Yeah, sorry,” John grinned. “Is it possible to make him go away?”

Terezi smirked, “Sorry, John. Justice prevails, but you can hide in the closet if you want.” She exited the room and headed towards the door to the dorm.

While Terezi was letting Karkat in, Rose found herself rereading the final parts of Jade message. “Who is with us? Does she mean that literally, or in a figurative sense? There are a few people I wouldn’t trust with a gun, but- John, what are you doing?”

“I’m saving myself from a horrible death, Rose,” John said, stuffing himself into the closet. Only a few moments later Karkat rammed himself into the room.

“Hello, Rose. Mind telling me where our exceedingly traitorous friends is?” He asked, a sharp look of anger masked with a grin.

“He’s in the closet," she replied offhandedly. 

“Rose, how could you?” John weeped, attempting to hold the closet door shut from the inside.

Rose was going to make a witty remark when she realized that Jade had only sent the message to John and her. She hadn’t included any of the trolls or, more concerningly, Dave.

She had already begun drafting an email to Jade to question her about this when she was trolled by Equius.

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

CT: D--> Miss Jade contacted you before falling asleep  
CT: D--> You wouldn’t know why she’s dressed in such horribly out of season clothing and roaming about desolate parts of Montana  
TT: Admittedly, I am as confused as you are.  
TT: She called John before finding you, so I suppose that I do know a few more pieces of information, but they’re not particularly relevant.  
TT: If you are worried about taking care of her, don’t be. John and I are arranging for Jade to fly to Boston.  
CT: D--> If I may be so r00d as to inquire why she will be headed to that particular location  
TT: Most of us go to school here, Equius.  
CT: D--> Ah, yes  
CT: D--> I remember now  
TT: Well, I will be purchasing those tickets soon. Tell me when you receive them.  
CT: D--> I will do so

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

Rose ran her fingers through her hair before fixing her headband, and she called out, “John, get over here! I need to show you how to do this.”

She looked over to find that Karkat had John in a headlock. Terezi was watching on and making bets on who would win their impromptu wrestling match, and Sollux, who had found his way into the room, was groaning loudly at the sight.

Eventually, Sollux had had enough. “If you two are quite finished,” he began, “the power ith working again.”

Karkat looked away from John, who he’d pinned to the couch, for only a moment to cuss Sollux out, “Well, thank you for that glorious piece of information, you oversized wriggler of a roommate who takes bribes from dorks with too much of a prankster’s gambit. That wasn’t even a prank! That was malicious intent! I would sue you if I didn’t think you were too illiterate and uneducated to understand the paperwork involved!”

Rose decided to intervene, “Karkat, I need John. Could you please stop sitting on him?”

Karkat rolled his eyes, “I highly doubt that Egbert has a higher calling than to be an admittedly uncomfortable seat with which cushion my holy rump.”

“What if I said we found Jade?”

Karkat sneered and slid off of John before pushing him onto the floor, “She already hates my future, past, and current selves enough to skewer me on her freaky dog’s teeth. Might as well not make her more agitated.”

John heaved himself off the floor and sprinted behind Rose. After cowering there for a moment, he popped his head over her shoulder and asked, “So? Are we going to get plane tickets?”

Terezi raised an eyebrow, “Are you going somewhere? Can I throw a party in our room while you’re gone?”

“Terezi, we are not going anywhere,” Rose replied agitatedly , “and we are getting them for Jade.”

Karkat mocked offense, “You want to bring the witch here? To the one place I thought I had escaped her judgemental gaze?”

Rose snapped at him, “Jade just escaped from some kind of whacked out facility where the people in charge sewed wings onto Tavros and did god knows what else. There are people still looking for her, and she is staying with Equius until we can help her. Now, Karkat, before you make some judgemental comment, think about your words very carefully.”

Terezi made an “ooing” noise, and Karkat stammered for a moment before replying, "Well, if we're in this much shit again, what the fuck did winning the game ever do to help? Why couldn't we just stay on Alternia?"

“To be fair we don’t kill people for not having sex,” John protested.

Sollux, who had been silent for quite some time, seemed lost in thought. He grimaced.

"What's wrong?" Terezi asked.

“Who would like to be the lucky bathtard to tell Vrithka about why we never found Tavroth?”

Poor John never was good at nose goes. 


	5. Roxy: Return Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short interruption before we continue John's escapades. I'm going to be using the dancestor's trolltags from this post:
> 
> http://chairman-miaow.tumblr.com/post/56697501633/dancestors-chat-handles-i-apologize-for-nothing

When Roxy returned to her and Jane’s dorm room to find bottles of vodka scattered about, she was disappointed. The air reeked of anger and despair, almost drowning out the old musty smell that had permeated the room ever since they’d moved in. She could hear Jane hiccuping and sobbing in the room over, and she took a moment before comforting her to put the empty bottles in the sink.

Roxy sat down next to Jane, a small frown on her face, and embraced her. Jane weeped into her shoulder for a few moments before stuttering out an apology. 

“Roxy, I’m sorry I’m such a hypocrite. I kept yelling at you to pull yourself together, but I can’t pull myself together, and there is so much alcohol. You smell like rainbows.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Roxy began patting Jane on the back as one would a baby. She carefully slipped Jane’s phone from her pocket as she trailed off into nonsensical mumblings. Finding nothing out of the usual on the friends phone, Roxy realized that she’d have to ask her friend about whatever was troubling her, possibly upsetting her by making her recall the event.

Jane was still ranting, “So you know how our Latin teacher is a complete dorkus? I think my mustache makes me look like him, and I think that’s cool. He’s cool. I like our Latin teacher. Did I mention his mustache? I like it. Why won’t my mustache make me feel better? I want my mustache but it’s not here.” Jane began crying again. Roxy wished a for a brief moment that her friends wasn’t such a sad drunk.

“Jane, what happened? I thought we promised each other not to drink until we were twenty one,” Roxy asked, remembering Jane’s disappointment when she’d found Roxy’s stash of cocktails in her room in 10th grade. Roxy had made a promise to herself then and there not to make her best friend ever look like that again, and she’d only relapsed a few times since that day. 

“I thought I told you already. I was admiring Mr. Atticus’ mustache.”

Roxy bit her lip, “Why were you drinking?”

“Isn’t that what people do to fix their problems?” Jane tossed absently into the room. She stared into open space for a moment before grabbing the disguise next to her and put it on. She giggled to herself for a few moments and toyed with her mustache.

“Bibimus quod sumus laetae et bibimus quod sumus miserae,” she said, imitating a man’s voice before sobbing again.

Roxy sighed, “That’s enough from you, Plato. We should get you to bed, and we’ll talk about this in the morning, okay?” She picked Jane up by her shoulders and guided her away from the couch. Jane stumbled over some of the bottles Roxy had forgotten during her clean-up. Jane almost began vomiting once before she reached her bed, but she swallowed hard and simply went back to giggling tears.

As Roxy tucked her in, making sure she was on her side, Jane mumbled, “Silly Roxy, Plato was Greek,” and began snoring softly, random snorts peppering her dozing noises.

Roxy returned to the couch and picked up Jane’s half empty bottle. She considered taking a sip for a moment before remembering how much she hated straight vodka. She set the bottle back down on the table and began yawning and running her fingers through her hair. Lolling her head back, she groaned as she thought of the awful hangover Jane would have when she woke up.

Pulling out her PDA, she decided to pester Aranea.

 

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering atheneumGossiper [AG]

 

TG: sup

TG: you wouldn’t have a hangover cure would you?

AG: Please tell me that you aren’t drunk again. Do you remem8er how 8adly your last drinking 8inge went?

TG: nag

TG: *nah

TG: jane is drunk off the mustache atm

AG: That is unfortun8. Well, when Porrim is “classy smashed” I usually make her eat greasy foods.

AG: Of course, this is unadvisa8le if Jane is currently on a diet or has any inclination against this sort of food.

TG: she eats cakes for all three meals. i think that a hamburger is okay

AG: Of course. Her odd eating ha8its are a hard thing to ignore, 8ut I appear to have lapsed in memory for a few moments there.

AG: Some sources say that 8read is also a good hangover cure, 8ut I have found that greasy foods work much more consistently. I can recommend some diners in the area if you would like.

TG: psh, I’m god.

TG: *good

TG: actually know what

TG: I am god. bow before your almighty ruler

AG: You should get some sleep, Roxy.

TG: will do, my loyal follower

 

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering atheneumGossiper [AG]

 

Roxy leaned back into the couch, absently blowing some hair out of her face. She leaned her head back to look at Jane, who was still snoring. Roxy contemplated joining her in bed, but she found herself not being tired. Instead, she pulled her keys out of her purse and headed towards the door.

She had a hand on the doorknob before she decided to turn back, though only for a moment. She walked over to Jane’s side and, giving her a light kiss on the forehead, whispered, “I’ll be back.”

Once she was out at her car, she began tuning the radio station before heading out to the local McDonalds. She eventually settled on a channel playing old rocks songs, and although she had vowed to Jane that she would never like Jane’s awful music, she belted out many of the tunes during her drive.

When she staggered into the McDonalds at a quarter to 2, there were no other customers. The sole cashier was standing boredly at their station, and the janitor was busy mopping up their previous mop trails for lack of a better task. This McDonalds was in such an unpopulated area, and Roxy wondered how they didn’t go out of business years ago.

Roxy wandered up to the counter, and when she reached it she asked the cashier, “What number is a Big Mac?” 

Laughing slightly, Mayor replied, “Roxy, you’re here often enough. You should know!”

“Eh, I forgot. Can I get one anyway?”

The janitor, AR, rolled his eyes, “If you’re looking for Dirk, he’s busy frying things. I’ll tell him you’re here.” He put his mop back into its rolling holder and put a little “Caution: Wet” sign over the most recently washed area before making his way behind the counter. After disappearing for a moment, Roxy heard him call, “Dirk, your girlfriend’s here!”

“Aimless, I’m gay remember?” Dirk emerged from behind the various shelves of lukewarm fast food. “What’s up, Roxy?”

“Jane got drunk, and Aranea claims that greasy food’s good for hangovers.”

“Roxy, it’s two in the morning. Whatever you get her will be cold before she wakes up.”

“That’s her punishment.”

The two sat down at one of the booths near the caution sign, ignoring the pointed glare from AR. Dirk was quietly sipping from a water bottle while Roxy pulled her phone from her purse.

While she searched, Roxy began speaking, “So, I got a call from Rose earlier today, like way earlier today, because of that time zone thing. Why did she and John go to school in New England when there’s perfectly good schools in Washington? Anyway, apparently they found Jade.” Dirk seemed more interested at that, which was only evidence by his momentary pause in his consumption of the water. 

Roxy continued, “I’ve been asking them about it, and they asked Jade about it. Apparently she and Jake were stuck in some kind of facility or whatever. It’s in Montana. So I was doing some research, and let’s just say I got some interesting results. There is a company that does pharmaceutical testing there, but the actual building is huge. What goes on in there is very hush hush, and I couldn’t find a building report on it since the 90s.”

“You think that’s where Jake is?” Dirk asked. 

“It’s worth investigating,” Roxy smirked. Seeing Dirk’s contemplative expression, however, she gave a wistful smile, “I can ask if Jade knows anything about Dave, if you’d like.” 

Dirk shook his head, “It’s alright. She probably doesn’t, and even if she did, I’m not sure how I’d feel about it.”

Roxy punched him in the arm lightly as AR approached their table. “Here’s your Big Mac,” he said. “Don’t worry, I only burnt myself twice with the oil.”

Dirk rolled his eyes, “And this is why I’m the cook.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bibimus quod sumus laetae et bibimus quod sumus miserae. - Latin for "We drink because we are happy and we drink because we are sad."


	6. John: Tell Vriska

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My desire to make a a more cohesive story won against my laziness, and the chapters will now be slightly longer.

After they’d purchased the tickets, Rose had practically shoved John out the door. John pouted for a little bit, trying to get them to let him back in, but Rose was adamant that he be the one to break the news to their slightly maniacal friend.

John tried to make the journey longer by shuffling his feet and walking very slowly, but it’s hard to waste time crossing a relatively narrow hallway. He found himself in front of Vriska and Kanaya’s room in a very short amount of time. The door itself had several “Keep Out!” signs and magazine clippings taped scatteredly onto the wood, and it was labelled with a scrap of metal with the occupants names scratched into it. 

“Maybe she isn’t here,” John said to himself. “Maybe Kanaya will answer the door, and I can just tell her.” He reached for Vriska’s magical eight ball knocker, only to place his hand on the door itself. 

He shouted to the open door behind him, “Rose, are you sure we can’t just pester her?”

“Would you really want to hear about this sort of thing of pesterchum?” Rose shot back from out of sight. “Besides, she broke her computer on one of Karkat’s awful programs.” 

John shouted again, “What about Kanaya?” Then he felt the door, which he had been leaning on, give way, tossing him to the floor. 

“What about Kanaya?” Vriska said above him. She was raising an unimpressed eyebrow at John’s fallen figure. Her hand was still on the door knob inside the room, showing her willingness to slam the door on John’s head.

John stuttered a bit before standing, “Nothing about Kanaya. You wouldn’t happen to have any sharp objects on hand right now, would you?”

 

“Do you need any?” Vriska asked, amused. She was twirling a pair of scissors in her hand, and when John looked back into her dark room, he saw a magazine on the table that was being reduced to shreds. Kanaya was sleeping there, her head on the table with her arms splayed protectively over the scraps of paper. 

John swallowed, “Not really. Did you take those from Kanaya?”

 

“Maybe.”

“Could you put them down?” 

“Do they bother you?”

John paused, “Yes.”  
Vriska shrugged and made an unimpressed voice before setting down the scissors next to Kanaya’s head. A small air draft came from the room; there was a window open. John shivered and wondered why Vriska would have a window open with the chilly weather, and then he saw Kanaya’s magazine clippings scattered across the room, shifting in the breeze.

Vriska returned to the door, saying, “So, what is it? I’m assuming you didn’t bother me for idle chit chat.”

“What makes you think that? I could just want to hang out or something,” John replied. He was reluctant to tell Vriska the upsetting news, and he was doing anything he could to stall the conversation. 

“You asked me to put down the scissors. Something is wrong.”

Vriska had been the last of their crew to remember about the game. She’d had subtly memories, and she’d been drawn towards the other players. However, her memories had only returned at the age of 18, after John met her. 

John had pained to see her not remember him, but it hurt more to remember her frantic search for Tavros the day she woke up with memories from the game. 

It had been at the beginning of the summer. She and Kanaya had gone home early from one of the group’s outings, Kanaya having decided that Vriska’s offensive nature was too abrasive for a circus featuring a hypnotist. Then, in the middle of the night Kanaya had frantically called up Rose, gushing about how Vriska was gone.

They’d found her two months later in a run down diner in Arizona, passed out in front of a cup of coffee with a missing poster for Tavros and Rufioh Nitram crumpled in her hand. Kanaya had coaxed information out of her, and they learned that she’d spent the last few months hitchhiking across the country in a search for Tavros, who’d been reported missing six years prior. She’d been searching every lead she could find. 

When asked to explain why, she couldn’t. On Alternia she’d been awful to Tavros. Eventually she just bit out, “I guess I like being the only reason he’s hurt.”

John pointed out that wasn’t healthy, but Vriska told him to shut up. 

“We sort of found Tavros,” John blurted out.

Her eyes lit up, and her mouth almost curved into a grin. He could see her holding her breath, however subtly, and he dreaded completing the message.

Vriska interrupted him before he could continue, “Where is he?”

John gulped, “Well, we don’t know.” Vriska narrowed her eyes, and John continued. “I said sort of! I mean, we found Jade, and she knows where he is. But not really. He’s somewhere in Montana?” 

“What do you mean, ‘somewhere in Montana?’” Vriska said sneering threateningly. “How can you ‘sort of’ find someone?”

“Well, he was with Jade is some kind of facility, and she escaped,” John said, biting his lip.

Vriska seemed to think this over. The tilted her head back and sighed. Then she looked down at John, cracked her neck, and slammed the door into his face.

As John was reeling on the floor, he could hear Vriska throwing things in swearing behind the closed door. Clutching his nose in pain, he pulled himself from the floor and made his way towards Rose and Terezi’s room across the hall. 

He knocked twice, and when Rose opened the door, he said, “I hate you guys,” and walked past her to get a paper towel for his bloody nose.

\-----

Equius wheeled a haphazardly filled suitcase through the halls of the airport terminal. Jade trailed after him, a slight bounce in her step and a smile on her face. She was in awe at the world around them, and Equius wondered for a moment if she’d ever seen an airport before. She kept playing with the hem of the shirt Equius had bought for her, unwilling to have her wander around in public wearing a flimsy, dirty dress that looked like a hospital gown. 

When Jade froze, Equius stopped. He glanced casually but attentively around to see if there were any suspicious figures, and though he saw none he felt watched. Breathing deeply, he turned around to Jade. 

She saw something he didn’t. She was making a scene in the middle of the hall, and people were beginning to stare. She saw something he didn’t, and it was terrifying her. Someone was walking over to make sure she was alright. She saw something he didn’t, and she wasn’t moving. 

Equius decided that it was time to improvise, “Darling, is everything alright? I understand you’re afraid of airplanes, but trust me. You’ll hardly notice, and probably fall asleep as soon as we take off.” He made sure not to use her name; if someone was watching them, best not to confirm who they were. 

She smiled weakly, “Ah, sorry. The reality of it just hit me, and there are so many people here. I got nervous.” Equius and she had no special language and barely knew each other, but Equius could tell what she meant. Someone looking for her was here. 

He offered her his free hand, and she grabbed it. He made careful not to crush her fingers and he led her through the rest of the terminal.

She stayed stiff throughout the entire baggage process and through the security checkpoint. By the time it was time to board, she was shivering with stillness, her forced calm transparent. She planted her feet too firmly as she walked; she swung her arms too evenly. She handed her ticket to the attendant too mechanically. 

Once they were on the plane, Jade did not relaxing. She leaned back into her seat, giving the illusion of comfort, but her back was unconsciously straight.

“It’s alright,” Equius said. “You’ll hardly notice once we take off.” 

“No, there are too many people.”


	7. Equius: Be an Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Equius asks himself the questions I ask myself every time I write a Jade and Equius scene. Also, I apologize for the bullshitted Heir of Void powers.

As soon as the flight took off, Equius pulled out his laptop from the backpack he’d stowed under his chair. He quickly tried to access the internet, making sure he was connected to the in-flight wifi. Pulling up trollian, he began messaging Rose.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

 

CT: D--> I believe that Jade and I have a slight dilemma

CT: D--> Jade STRONGLY believes that someone one the plane with us

TT: That makes things complicated.

TT: You wouldn’t be able to tell who it is, would you?

CT: D--> Jade has not been giving any clear answers

CT: D--> She is actually watching my screen with slight distress

CT: D--> She may believe that someone is watching us

CT: D--> And that I am revealing t00 much information by typing this

CT: D--> If she could stop trying to slam my laptop shut on my fingers

CT: D--> It would be greatly appreciated

 

Equius looked over at Jade, slightly miffed, as she reached over to shut his laptop again. She stared back at him in an accusing manner, trying to persuade him to listen to her. Equius, of course, thought of this as slightly silly. They were sitting in front of a pregnant lady and and behind an old man who’d taken sleeping pills. Neither were likely to spy on them, so unless the intruder on the plane had managed to plant devices all conversations on his computer should be safe.

Then again, the wifi could be used to hack his computer. Maybe he should shut his computer. But that’s ridiculous. How would a hacker know which computer to hack out of all the people on the plane?

Equius had a mental struggle before writing quickly to Rose.

 

CT: D--> I have decided to listen to her insistences

CT: D--> I am going to sign off

CT: D--> Goodbye

 

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

 

Jade grabbed one of the Sky Mall catalogues and pulled a pen from the bag Equius had thrown together for her. She began scribbling on it, and when she was done the catalogue looked like Picasso had been reborn, but Equius tried to decipher it anyway.

From what he could tell there was a man and possibly a door. The only doors were by the entrance to first class, and the bathroom. There was a man in a suit by the entrance to first class, but his crazed hair and visible shakiness made Equius hesitant to assume him to be some lacky sent after Jade. After a quick scan of the passengers, he couldn’t find any other classily dressed men near doors.

Equius took the pen from Jade and wrote on the magazine “What” before handing it back. Jade inhaled frustratedly and glared over at him. She began scribbling again, and Equius began mentally facepalming.

_Why am I, of all people, the one stuck with Jade on a plane? I don’t know her very well. Is this normal for her, drawing things and expecting people to understand them? How does she expect me to help her if I can’t even understand her form of communication? How-_

His inner tirade was cut off by Jade shoving the magazine at him. She wasn’t particularly forceful about it, but Equius wasn’t paying attention and was caught off guard.

She hadn’t drawn anything this time, only circled the words “near first class” from a larger paragraph about the quality of the airline. Equius was distracted for a moment by the horrible writing of the paragraph. He snapped out of his reading trance when Jade elbowed him.

He looked again, and again the only man who seemed slightly suspicious was the jittery guy, who was currently drinking water mixed with sleeping aids.

Equius looked back at Jade and shrugged. She snorted at him and took the magazine back, aggressively drawing circles on the man’s chest.

Wait.

Equius facepalmed, physically this time, realizing that Jade had drawn a woman. Sliding his hand down his face, he looked back out at the people near first class.

A bald woman (that explains the lack of hair, Equius though) was sitting two rows behind the door to first class. She had a computer open to a website about flower arrangement, and she was casually typing into seemingly no text box. Every so often she would looked out into the isle, scouring the people much like Equius had been doing.

Equius drew a check mark on the magazine, and Jade nodded. Equius then circled the word “wait” from the same horribly written paragraph, and Jade smiled at him and leaned back into her seat.

\-----

Sollux watched as John bandaged his nose, Rose laughed quietly at him, Terezi tried knocking Karkat off the couch, and Karkat fell ungraciously onto his butt. He snickered at the others antics, making sure to seem unnoticable. He wanted to talk to KK, but there were too many people for Sollux to drag him away without some questions.

Terezi pulled Karkat up from the ground, plopping him onto the couch. She threw a blanket over him and began trying to wrap him in it, declaring him a taco. Karkat bit back that she was thinking of burritos, but she just told him that tacos don’t talk.

While Sollux admitted that she was right, he didn’t care to comment.

Rose was fixing the bandages on John’s nose. John had done a spectacular job with messing them up, and Rose was trying to fix the terror of health supplies he’d created. John made complaints in a funny voice.

Sollux leaned against the wall, lamenting his lack of female friend willing to put him through nonsense. Feferi and Meenah still lived in the Philippines, and they would until their school transfer came through. Aradia was dead, so there was nothing he could do about that.

Well, he just needed to finish his program. He just needed Equius to finish building that robot. Sollux convinced himself that the nightmares would stop as soon as they fixed her.

He saw her ghost in mirrors, so he knew she was still there. Most humans didn’t believe in ghosts; most humans didn’t turn into ghosts. It was the same odd phenomenon that let Vriska use her prosthetic arm identically to a real one, and the same reason that Terezi could smell and taste colours.

Somethings in the game had carried over. They’d been born with the abilities as in their previous lives. Even though a normal human would never be able to posses a robot, Aradia could.

None of the players hadn’t tried anything like it before, but Sollux convinced himself that it would work.

He just needed to finish the goddamn code. And to do so, he needed KK’s suicidal coding.

\-----

The plane would land in a few minutes. The seatbelt sign was glowing. Jade was clenching her teeth, looking over every few minutes to Equius, who kept pointing at “wait.”

The plane had almost finished it’s descent when Equius launched his plan into action.

Over the woman, a bottle of water slowly formed itself. Equius was calmly doodling on the magazine, but Jade could see him focussing intensely. When the bottle was fully formed, Equius smiled and looked up at Jade. As if on cue, a woman’s screech sounded throughout the cabin.

Equius began laughing quietly as a flock of attendants swarmed to the woman, whom they quickly rushed off to the bathroom to help get clean. The plane landed before they returned, and Jade and Equius bolted as quickly as they could. They’d retrieved their luggage and gotten a taxi before the smile could leave Jade’s face.


	8. Jade: Arrive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winter Storm Juno hasn't cut the power yet, so I'm writing. Also, fun note, if you pay attention to Sollux's dialogue I use s as little as possible because its my personal headcanon that while he's not ashamed in any way of his lisp, he avoids the letter as often as possible.

Rose was waiting by the door when Jade and Equius arrived. The college wasn’t too far from the airport, so it hadn’t taken them too long. Equius had whipped out his cellphone as soon they’d gotten into the taxi, alerting Rose about their successful landing.

As Equius paid the taxi driver, Jade ran over to Rose and hugged her, practically shouting, “Rose! It’s so good to see you!” 

Rose hugged back, mentally checking over Jade. Despite her cheerful voice and tight hug, her eyes were glistened with exhaustion and her shoulders sagged. The warm clothing that Jade was wearing didn’t quite fit her properly, probably due to rushed dressing, and the wires of her glasses were fit too snugly around her head. 

“How are you feeling?” Rose asked as lightly as possible. 

Jade pulled back from the hug, “I’m just fine. Can we go inside?” 

Rose smiled, saying, “Of course. Equius!” she called to the boy standing awkwardly by the side of the road. “Come on.” 

He looked around, unsure of himself momentarily, before following the girls inside. Not for the first time he wondered what he was doing in Boston. He hadn’t gotten along terribly well with any of the people here. Their interactions had been more often than not been necessary communications in the game, and no cordiality past that point had been used. He thought for a moment about contacting Nepeta, but decided against it after remembering what time it was. Nepeta would not appreciate being woken up at 3 AM for some silly reason, no matter how understanding she was. 

As Rose led Jade through the dorm, pointing out various art pieces, Equius got to twiddling his thumbs. He was surrounded by breakable things, and he was inside a girls dorm in the middle of the night. He prayed that he didn’t look too sketchy. He admitted to himself that he was very good at that sort of thing. 

Rose stopped in front of a door on the second floor, having led them up a flight of stairs. Pulling out a key, she messed around with the doorknob for a few moments before knocking violently on the door. 

“John, looking the door is not a prank! If I have to pull out my key I will not be happy,” Rose shouted at the door. She clearly did not care that it was horribly late and that most people were probably sleeping. 

A mildly frantic scramble came from the other side, and a sleepy looking Terezi pulled it open slightly, “Shhh, the court is in session. Please wait until the break to enter.” 

“Haha,” Rose replied sarcastically, pushing the door past her, “Terezi, that’s only funny the first time.” 

As the room came into full view, Jade was able to see all of the occupants. John hunched over a laptop on the couch, playing a video game that looked incredibly violent. Vriska was watching John over his shoulder. Kanay was sitting at the small table in the kitchen portion of the Terezi was slumped against the wall that Rose had knocked her into, dressed in her dragon hoodie. Sollux and Karkat were playing an odd form of chopsticks that involved a deck of cards. Overall, it wasn’t the oddest accumulation of activities Jade had walked in on. 

Rose clapped twice, and motion ceased, “Alright, everyone! Jade’s here. The wait is over, please return to your respective dorms. We’ll meet in the morning to talk about our plan.” There were some grumbles of agreement, and Karkat, Sollux, and John pulled themselves out of their positions. 

As John walked past Rose for the door, she stopped him, “John, could you take Equius? This is a girl dorm, after all.” John looked at her blankly with a tired stare before nodding slightly. Rose clapped him on the back and smiled over at Equius, who followed John out. 

After everyone else had left, Jade turned back to Rose, asking, “What plan are you guys talking about?” 

Rose smiled, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing important.” Rose could tell that Jade saw through her lie, but she was too tired to care. Rose only pretended to be perfect; she was just as exhausted as everyone else. “Now come on,” she continued. “You can sleep in my bed. I bet you’re tired.” 

\-----

When John ducked out of the hall with Equius in tow, Sollux and Karkat stumbled back to their room. Karkat messed around with his pillow for a few moments before sitting down onto the bed.

“I’m not really that tired,” he complained. “And I’m still pissed at you for crashing my computer.”

“Really, KK? That idea belonged to Egbert, not me,” Sollux shot back. Sollux sat down by the desk. “Anyway, the computer ith probably fine by now. The bug wath made to be temporary.”

“It better be fucking temporary, you asshat,” Karkat replied, laying down. Throwing his arms under his head, he continued, “You said you wanted to talk to me about something earlier. What was it?”

Sollux sighed, “Nothing too much, KK. I need help with a program.” He mentally pat himself on the back for being subtle.

Karkat scoffed, “My coding sucks, Sollux, and you know this.” 

“I think it could work thith time. Besideth, if the computer ith dethtryoyed, it wouldn’t be that bad,” Sollux explained.

“Please tell this isn’t like the time I helped you accidentally topple a South African country’s government.”

“Definitely not.” 

“Alright,” Karkat pulled himself off the bed. “I’m bored enough. How do I start?”

“Well, we need to build a program to open a door,” Sollux said, opening up Karkat’s fully functioning computer. 

Karkat looked at him, “A machine operated door, right? Because, newsflash to Sollux, machines can’t fucking control wood.” 

“It would be mechanical.”

“Great. And other necessary specifications I might need before I work my ass off coding for another one of your stupid projects?” Karkat asked.

Sollux looked out in thought before shrugging, “Not that I can think of. I’ll code in all the information that hath to do with the thepthific door.”

Karkat nodded, and took his computer from Sollux. Sollux and Karkat sat on their respective beds, and they each began coding, Karkat building the bulk of the program and Sollux editing his mistakes. 

Sollux tried to get rid of the conscience in the back of his mind telling him that this was wrong. As soon as AA got her body back, no one would care how he got the robot.


End file.
